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Age 3?: I hid inside my pillowcase when my parents were going to take me to school. I heard them getting frantic looking for me.

Age 4?: Saw a black guy and pointed at him and yelled "he's made of chocolate!"

Age 5?: Went to the video store to rent a NES game, and the counter guy asked me how long to you want to rent it? I asked my dad "how long do people live?"

Age 8: I had a heavyset black lady as my teacher and she had a huge bosom, one day when I passed her I grabbed her boobs. She dragged me by the ear down to the principals office.

Age 11: After a visit with my grandparents I was taking a flight home. My grandpa gave me an old metal ammo box for my shoes. At the baggage check in they asked me what was in the box. I told them there was a bomb inside. I was soon surrounded by dozen security who were interrogating my grandparents and me in front of everyone. They threatened to fine me $12000 and other legal fines. No joke.

Age 18: I went to my best friend's house one evening to see if he was home. He wasn't as I didn't see his car out front. So I climbed on the roof to wait for him. His dad ran out with a gun screaming to get off his roof, thinking I was a burglar.
  • Listening to: Blondie - Atomic
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GalacticMuhrine Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012
I can't stop stop laughing at the Age 4 one.
Artytoons Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
Never been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor as a kid.

Got a good lawyer. :-)

Just kidding.
greeneyedgirl927 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
Let me tell you about a horrible thing I did back in April. My mom and grandmother were fighting in front of me, and I was so hurt I wrote a death threat note to them, only my mother read it and as a result my PS3 and PS2 were taken away from me for a week. Horrible isn't it?
greeneyedgirl927 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
Please don't get me banned for this.
The-WaxBadger Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012   Writer
I think the age 3 to 5 ones are typical for kids that age since we hardly understand things, not that they aren't dumb things.

Just be glad that you didn't do that bomb joke after 9/11, nowadays people get detained indefinitely for that.
GoodCaptainClack Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I once ran headfirst into a fence when I was about 2 and a half years old. I hit the wooden board hard enough to leave a massive knot on my forehead. From what my Dad tells me, it's an absolute wonder I didn't severely damage my brain doing that. I actually lost my sense of smell as a result of that and have had a screwed up sense of taste to boot. Yeah, I was a pretty dumb kid...

My Dad's also told me that when I was about three years old, I tore open a beanbag I had and dumped all the foam peanuts inside over my Thomas the Tank Engine toys. "Daddy, Daddy! Look! Thomas got caught in the snow and he's stuck!" My dad evidently was MAD as could be that I did that. If we'd have had a video camera, there's a pretty good chance we could have ended up on America's Funniest Home Videos and won $10,000 for me doing that. To this day I still find the odd peanut around the house!

I also remember being about four/five years old and being scared because I couldn't find my parents and actually called 911 because I couldn't find them. The cops actually visited my turned out, my parents were...erm...getting it on in the bedroom, which they had tightly locked. Oh yes. I REALLY did that. I was one hell of a dumb kid!
Slayer-One Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
You only live once man. Take life by the boobs and never regret it!

Atomic... brilliant song.
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Submitted on
August 28, 2012


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