Age 3?: I hid inside my pillowcase when my parents were going to take me to school. I heard them getting frantic looking for me.
Age 4?: Saw a black guy and pointed at him and yelled "he's made of chocolate!"
Age 5?: Went to the video store to rent a NES game, and the counter guy asked me how long to you want to rent it? I asked my dad "how long do people live?"
Age 8: I had a heavyset black lady as my teacher and she had a huge bosom, one day when I passed her I grabbed her boobs. She dragged me by the ear down to the principals office.
Age 11: After a visit with my grandparents I was taking a flight home. My grandpa gave me an old metal ammo box for my shoes. At the baggage check in they asked me what was in the box. I told them there was a bomb inside. I was soon surrounded by dozen security who were interrogating my grandparents and me in front of everyone. They threatened to fine me $12000 and other legal fines. No joke.
Age 18: I went to my best friend's house one evening to see if he was home. He wasn't as I didn't see his car out front. So I climbed on the roof to wait for him. His dad ran out with a gun screaming to get off his roof, thinking I was a burglar.
Listening to: Blondie - Atomic